Battle For Author
by Redrosesushi
Summary: And so Draco walked up to Hermione- "I will not walk up to Hermione Granger!" What happens when the story gets out of hand, and the characters all throw in their own ideas about what should happen? HG/RW HP/GW DM/AG


**A.N. I hope that you are able to follow the story, it is sort of confusing. But if you do get it, then please enjoy it! I had so much fun writing it! And I hope you have fun reading it! And now to the story. **

**Oh yeah, here are some things you need to know about the story:**

Story

**Author**

_Characters_

Harry Potter was sitting with Ron and Hermione by the beech tree overlooking the lake, trying to ignore the fact that it was the last week that they would ever look at the castle again. Sitting in the sun in full-length robes is quite hot, contrary to popular belief, and so Hermione took them off and sat there in her muggle jeans and t-shirt.

"_Hey! I do not want to strip in front of Harry and Ron! Why would you even make me do something like that?" _

"**Hey Hermione! It's my story so I can make you do whatever you want! DEAL! I want you to sit there in your muggle clothes because it's hot! Just let me get on with the story! GOSH."**

"_Ok, okay, gosh I just don't want to sit here in my muggle clothes, but fine, carry on with your story." (Hermione sat back down rather grumpily)_

Anyways Hermione took off her robes and sat down in her muggle clothes to look out over the lake. Harry and Ron were sitting there watching her in slight amusement; Hermione had never taken off her robes before during school. But just then Draco Malfoy walked up and said: "Hermio-."

"_HEY!"_

"**What now Draco? You don't want to talk to Hermione?"**

"_Well, not in front of Potter and Weasley at any rate!"_

"**Well I guess you will just have to deal then because I want you to talk to Hermione NOW!"**

"_Fine! You are ruining my reputation here!" (Draco walked up to Hermione)_

"Hermione, I was wondering if you would like to take a walk with me?"

"_A WALK! WITH HERMIONE GRANGER! ARE YOU MADE WOMAN?"_

"**YES I am! Quite mad in fact, but it is my mad story and you are part of it, and I don't care what you say or not! You are going to take a walk with Hermione Granger RIGHT NOW! SHEESH! WHAT IS IT WITH MY CHARACTERS TODAY?"**

"_Well, I guess you will have to have someone else talk to Hermione because I am out of here."_

Draco left. Harry, Ron and Hermione watched him go with looks of confusion.

"That was weird," said Harry said, and Ron fervently agreed. Hermione was staring at Draco's back wistfully-.

"_Wistfully? What is this? Do I like Draco Malfoy all of a sudden? Have you gone crazy? I still haven't forgotten that he was a death-eater! Why am I staring at him wistfully?"_

"**Because I want you to like Draco right now! I have a plan for this story, and I need you to follow it right now! You and Draco are going to start going out, and you are going to listen to what I say! Who is the author of this story anyways? Not you, not Draco, and not Harry or Ron! ME! So get to it!"**

"_FINE! I DON'T LIKE WHERE THIS STORY IS GOING THOUGH!"_

Hermione sat back down after standing up abruptly, and stared moodily into the lake. She had just noticed that the giant squid was propelling itself lazily across the surface of the lake, and she made a somewhat rash decision. She decided she was going to go swimming.

"_SWIMMING! WHAT IS THIS? I DO NOT SWIM!"_

"**Well you are just going to have to go swimming all right! So get over there and SWIM!"**

"_I will not!"_

"**YES you will!"**

"_FINE! BUT THIS STORY BETTER GET BETTER OR ELSE I WILL WALK OUT JUST LIKE DRACO!"_

"**Okay! I promise that the story will get better, and that it will have a happy ending, so now you just need to get in that lake and go swimming!"**

"_Fine."_

Hermione walked to the edge of the lake, and transformed the jeans and t-shirt into a swimsuit, a bikini in fact.

"_A BIKINI!"_

And so Hermione, after she was wearing her red and gold bikini-

"_Well at least its red and gold!"_

-Slipped into the Black Lake, and began to swim a perfect breaststroke. Hermione turned and watched Harry and Ron gape at her in her swimsuit. Ron couldn't help but look at her swimsuit that was split into a top that had a bow in the front of the red and gold pattern, and then there was a skirt that was red and gold designed so that the gold and red looked like watercolor that was mixing.

"_Okay, well at least you gave me an okay looking swim suit at any rate!"_

"**Yes I did! So SHUT UP!"**

Ron continued to gape at Hermione in her swimsuit, and had the strongest desire to join her. He pulled off his robes (Harry was appalled) and he kept stripping until his robes were a pile beside him, and he was down to his red and gold boxers. They were red with gold hearts to be exact, and Harry had to refrain from laughing.

"_HEY! I do not wear red and gold heart boxers! They are blue with teddy bears on them!"_

"**Well red and gold matches Hermione's swimsuit, and hearts sounds better then teddy bears anyways!"**

"_Yeah, Maybe-."_

"**So get out there and swim with Hermione! You know, the love of your life?"**

"_Right…"_

Hermione was treading water in the great lake watching Ron strip to his, Ummmmm… hilarious looking boxers. She smiled as he launched himself into the lake, and began to swim towards her.

"Hey what about me guys?" Harry yelled across the lake. "I don't swim!"

"**Well, suck it up Harry! Go out there and swim!"**

"AAAAAAHHHHH! I didn't think Luna was telling the truth when she said she was hearing the voices. What are you?"

"**I am the magical author of your summer afternoon. So get out there and SWIM!"**

"_OKAY OKAY! I'll go swim!"_

Harry looked apprehensively at the lake, deciding whether or not to join his two best friends. A part of him wanted to join them, but the other, the part that couldn't swim, didn't want to. Not until Ginny walked out of the castle, saw Ron and Hermione now swimming together in the lake, and ran towards it. She began taking off her robes, and replaced them with her swimsuit.

"_Wait… My what?"_

"**Ginny not you too!"**

"_Why am I wearing my swimsuit?"_

"**Because I need you to be there so that Harry gets on the water, and so that you can show off your good looking swim suit. Please just do it?"**

"_Well, all right. Fine I guess."_

Ginny transfigured her clothes into her swimsuit, and Harry gaped at her. She was now wearing a one piece that was a halter-top and connected in the front center of the tied front. It was rather low cut, but the center of it was scrunched to give a pleasant rippling sensation, and the bottom had a very short skirt. Harry stared at her openmouthed, and tried not to notice that the dark blue of the swimsuit complimented her skin perfectly. She tossed her hair over her shoulder, looked at Harry with a coy look, and then swan dived into the lake. She swam out to meet Ron and Hermione who were now chasing each other in the water. She looked over her shoulder to see Harry finally stripping down to his boxers. He finally managed to get out of his robes, and jumped into the water. His boxers turned out to be black with green watercolor designs on them. Ginny couldn't help looking at them with anticipation as Harry jumped into the water. Harry swam over to where his other three friends were waiting. Harry finally reached them and began playing with Ginny's hair. Meanwhile Ron was trying to dunk Hermione, and was succeeding fairly well.

"_Wait! I am not going to be dunked by Ron!"_

"**Whatever you say Hermione…"**

Ron was dunking Hermione and Harry was playing with the fringe on Ginny's skirt, when Draco Malfoy walked back out of the castle. He saw the four of them and felt a pang of remorse? Since when had he felt remorse?

"_Since when HAVE I felt remorse? It isn't a very good quality to have in a Malfoy."_

"**I don't know Draco but you did, because you didn't listen to me and walk with Hermione when I told you too, and now see what's happened? My whole plan for this story has been ruined, and all because you wouldn't swallow your pride and talk to Hermione!"**

"_Well it was only because they would have jinxed me! I would have if she was by herself!"_

"**Draco do you really think that I would have let them jinx you? Do you? You WERE one of the main characters in the story until you left! How could you?"**

"_Well I…but…"_

"**No buts! You weren't listening to me! The author! You should have listened to me Draco! It all would have worked out between you and Hermione, but now I have no choice but to put you with Pansy! Does that make you happy?"**

"_No, but I didn't realize…"_

"**Of course you didn't realize! That's why I'm the author you dimwit! Now get over there and go talk to Hermione! And don't you dare change anything of what I write okay?"**

"_Of course, as long as it will get me Hermione…"_

"**Well no promises there, but on with the story already!"**

Draco made his way to the lake, and with a look of jealousy at Ron, began stripping down to his boxers. Hermione and Ginny were eying him with interest, but once he only had his boxers on, they turned out to be pink with bunnies on them, and Hermione and Ginny couldn't help but laugh.

"_WHAT? Pink with BUNNIES!"_

"**Well I thought they might like that better then the ones that have the dark mark on them, or the ones that have the hearts that say your mommy's boy. So DEAL! I thought you said that you weren't going to object? No interruptions just go with it. Now back to the story!" **

Draco began swimming towards the small group, and targeted Hermione. He swam up to her. "Would you like to take a swim with me?" asked Draco rather politely.

"Of course, I guess." Said Hermione. So Draco and Hermione swam a little ways off, and Draco began speaking.

"You are super-mega-awesome-foxy-hot, and I've wanted to do this since first year, ever since I met you." Draco leaned in and kissed Hermione full on the lips. Hermione didn't react until she realized that she was kissing Draco Malfoy.

"_What? I am NOT kissing Draco Malfoy and actually ENJOYING IT!_

"**Oh I think you are, and you just wont admit it."**

"_NO I AM NOT! I was perfectly fine with Ron until you brought Draco over here and had him kiss me with his perfect, tasty, lovely-."_

"**Sure you're not in love. Now can we get back to the story?"**

Draco and Hermione swam back to the group and were going to pretend like nothing had happened when Ron burst out saying "Hermione I think I love you, and will you marry me?"

"_Wait, what did I just do?"_

"**Shut up and go with it!"**

"_Okay, fine."_

Ron had just surprised himself with his outburst, and so wisely decided to keep his mouth shut. Hermione was just about to reply when several Dementors appeared out of nowhere. Hermione shut her mouth and began fumbling for her wand when she realized that it was still with her robes on the shore. Ginny screamed as the Dementor nearest her spoke:

"THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE AUTHOR!" Everyone was very surprised that everyone else knew about the author. The Dementor suddenly was eaten by a Blast-Ended-Skrewt. In fact all of them were. And then the Blast-Ended-Skrewt, remembering that it couldn't swim, drowned. The five friends looked at each other, and decided to get out of the water near the drowning creature. When they reached the bank the Hermione ran to Ron, and kissed him and said, "Yes I will marry you!" Ron looked dumbfounded for a moment, and then grinned broadly. Ginny turned to Harry, and smiled. They were excited for Ron and Hermione because it's not every day that you are proposed to! Harry finished the moment by kissing Ginny on the mouth with all the force he could muster. Draco stared sourly at the kissing couples, but couldn't comment on anything because all of a sudden Draco found himself being kissed by Astoria Greengrass. How she had gotten there without being noticed was beyond his comprehension.

"**See Draco I told you, it would be a happy ending, but you just had to trust me didn't you?"**

Draco couldn't respond because he was currently glued to the younger girl by the mouth.

"**So I hope all you guys have learned not to argue with the author from now on! Because when you listen to the author then you end up being proposed to. When you don't you end up being eaten by a Skrewt. **

"_What did the dementors do to you, that he had to be eaten?"_

"**Well, he wanted to write his own ending. So he needed to go. Now stop asking stupid questions Draco, and go back to kissing your girlfriend."**

**And so we end the story happily, but just keep in mind that when you get on the wrong side of the author, you must always watch out for being eaten by a drowning Blast-Ended-Skrewts. **

**I have a new found appreciation for J.K. Rowling now, because the characters really do argue with me, and I just thought this was funny :)**


End file.
